Divorce is an odd thing. At what point do you decide enough is enough? How long do you stick it out? While divorce is less culturally taboo than it used to be, it still is not fun to be the person that just couldn’t make it work. It’s one thing when someone cheats, someone is abusive, or the situation just isn’t healthy. It’s an entirely different thing when you just call it quits yet still thoroughly enjoy each other’s company. For Seth and I, this is the case completely.
Seth served me divorce papers via Facebook. In actuality I knew he had them, I knew he had filed, but I made a joke about how funny it would be to see them on Facebook, so he did it. After some banter back and forth via our comments we went and got them notarized. Now we are simply waiting for everything to be finalized. Although I want this divorce, it is a very scary thing. Where do we go from here? We are supposed to hate each other according to society. We are supposed to fight, try and screw each other over, and not hang out regularly and talk about everything. Breaking the cultural norm throws people for a loop. When people find out you are doing something that they don’t believe they ever could, they get offended. It’s as if in my decision to do what’s right for me, I am telling them they are wrong. This is not a new experience, though. Whether it be my extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, running too many miles, being vegan, or foster children, I have always found an evil eye from those around me. Some people just seem to think that me stepping out of the box is in some way me stomping on said box. To be honest, I might not agree with what you do, I may love what I do, but we aren’t the same people.
Seth and I will always be friends. I believe when you start dating so young (16 for us) you grow up together. For us, this caused confusion, we stayed together believing we had no other choice. We falsely saw the love in our friendship and thought that meant we were suppose to be married. We both worried that not being together meant our children had to suffer. The thought of not being able to see them all the time was heartbreaking. You see, our children are literally our world. I know everyone says this, but I am hoping that through this blog, you will be able to see how true it is for us. Our decision to divorce is for them. Seth and I will both be able to move on to find our life partners. Our children will have the awesome opportunity to have four amazing adults in their lives. We have yet to decide what our future looks like. As of now we have spend almost 2 years living together knowing we weren’t going to be together. Although it hasn’t been easy, since there is no rule-book to co-parenting and living together, we have stuck through. I will always have Seth’s back, no matter what dumb decisions he makes (or good ones if hell freezes over). He is my friend, one of my best friends.
My best friend and I have decided to go on a little vacation together. An entire summer with the two of us, all five kids, one dog, and a giant white van. We will be camping, hiking crazy peaks, racing in ultra-marathons, and all around figuring out how to be friends, co-parents, and break society’s rules and changing the world one adventure at a time.
Hi my name is Sabrina and I am a soon to be divorced mom of 5, want my number?