Do you ever feel like you can’t breathe? Like the world is just falling on you and there is no escape? Lately writing just seems hard. Almost as if writing things make them become true. Like if I just don’t share things out loud (or on the screen) I can will them away. Being lost is an interesting thing…
I think this whole being a person outside of being a mom thing is still had work. When I’m not with them I find myself researching fun things do to with them. I think about how the next day will be spent when I see them, and get everything together so my time with then is as worthwhile as it can be. I’m still not ready to be a person outside of being a mom, and maybe that’s my problem.
Luckily Tea has her race coming up so we are training. Runs with this little lady make everything amazing. Honestly she and I struggle in day-to-day stuff, we are a lot a like and she has the ability to push my buttons. When we run together it is just happiness. We talk, laugh, share stories, it’s perfect. Sharing time on the trail with my Little Lady is definitely the highlight to any day.
This weekend was a 15 mile long run for her. Her first time on the Pemberton Trail where she will be spending plenty of quality time at the end of the month. We ended up not having anyone to watch the other littles until almost 11 so we got a very late start, but we both knew we had to get it done. I carried a pack, handheld, and an extra bottle in my pack. Tea carried 2 small handhelds and I honestly thought we would be fine. I had planned on us being out there for 4-5 hours, not knowing how her little body would be feeling in the heat. We ended up whining together about it being hot (because we are both very good at whining, but only to each other) but kept a pretty good run/walk going on. In the end we finished in 3:45 and both felt pretty awesome. Just a nice little training run and day of play with my Little Lady on the trails.
I followed this run up by drinking nearly a gallon of water, and still not being able to pee. It took over 12 hours after for me to actually be able to go (over share?). When you run with little people you tend to give them everything and try and not take too much yourself, sometimes that’s a mistake. Tea was super hydrated and feeling amazing, I on the other hand clearly let myself get a little too dehydrated. Oh well, live and learn. Little Ladies drink a lot of water and I should bring even more next time!
So although breathing and figuring my own stuff out is hard, I still have training with my Little Lady to look forward to. I love all my little people, but this special time I have with her right now is wonderful. I am thankful to be able to share this experience with my Tea.