All too often I find myself contradicting the way I “want” to parent and going against any and all research I have done, basically taking the easy way out. Many days I find myself raising my voice to them, as if the problem really is they can’t hear me and not that they are just being little assholes. The reality is no matter how much they pretended they didn’t hear me, they did, they simply didn’t agree with what I was saying. So now I have basically taught them the less someone listens the louder you should get, problem fixed right? THEN when they do get loud as I don’t respond to their constant requests for a snack while I’m on the phone, I get upset with them for being loud? Shocking right?
Today I have barely any voice and my throat hurts, always awesome feeling terrible and taking care of 5 little people…sigh… Talking in a whisper doesn’t hurt as badly, so whisper it is. Now here is the amazing thing people, my children can still hear me! When they ask a question they actually pay attention to the answer I give knowing I will not be speaking any louder. Fancy right? Even better is how quiet their voices get, like there is some awesome chain reaction of not screaming at the top of our lungs in a tiny house with too many people in it!
I remember back in the day when I only had a couple of kids and my go-to was always a whisper. Even with tantruming toddlers, it throws them off just enough to mess with their “I want what I want mood”. It slows everyone down and forces everyone to actually pay attention to one another. I know I sound crazy, but just give it a try! The next time you have 10 people talking to you at once, respond with a whisper. Watch as the chaos stops so they can hear you, the small bit of silence is golden! I make no promises that it will last more than 20 seconds, but sometimes 20 seconds can be all you need to get some sanity back!
I find that quietening my voice helps to get a point across 🙂