I smell…

I was sitting writing another blog post and Tru was getting our weights together, it was obviously time for a lifting session…

Tru “Mommy what’s this”- Showing me his hand

Me “That’s blood buddy”

Now see, in the process of moving a 25lb kettle bell he had knocked it over on his hand. Not dropped it, just knocked it on its side, which split his nail.

At this time Tag was naked and sleeping on me so I set him down to help Tru (in reality I set him down to go pee, but figured I could help a bleeding 4-year-old as well). It wasn’t until I laid him down that I realized-

I had been pooped on. And I didn’t even notice when it happened.

That’s where my life is at… so the interaction between Tea and I this morning made even more sense….

Tea “Hey Mommy can you guys come into school today” (because showing off your infant brother is the coolest thing to do EVER!)

Me “Sure hunny…”

Tea “Ok, but can you change your shirt first….?”

(inner dialogue “Oh My goodness what is wrong with my daughter?!?! I am the COOLEST mom ever! Why would she be embarrassed of me?!? I mean, I’m wearing running clothes, but thats because I’m a runner, which is cool! What is wrong with her?? UGH! I’m so angry!”)

Me “why?” (asked with all the Motherly kindness and love I could muster)

Tea “Well… you have a boob leak stain…”

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Yup, that awesome circle of boob milk leakage-target was about to leave the house…

And that my friends is when I realized I had hit rock bottom…

Well, until this most recent poop incident… Guys, I am so smelly and gross that I really don’t notice anything anymore… Maybe I should go shower…

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Adorable baby don’t care.

(for the record I did not change my shirt, I just put a long sleeve on over it 🙂 )

 

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Categories: Parenting | 1 Comment

No One Gets Me!

My Mom was over tonight and she and Tajh went outside to take the trash and recycling bins out. Moments later she comes running in frantically-

“Tell your son no!”

Me- Deer in headlights

Mom “There is  lizard stuck in the old trash can and he wants to get it out!”

Me “Oh. Well Tajh, save it”

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That’s right, even my Mother who has watched me parent for 13 years got it all wrong.

Do I really parent that oddly? Maybe to “average” American standards, I’m not “average”.

This isn’t “normal”?

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This one time, in 5th grade, my teacher told us “to assume is to make an ass out of you and me. Yes, my teacher told a class of 10-year-olds this. Genius. Make no assumptions, ever.

I actually got asked the other day, “so do you just wear him (Tag) all the time?”

Yes, yes I do. If I’m not wearing him, I’m holding him. If I’m not holding him, I’m peeing, I will pick him up when I’m done. I treated Tajh exactly the same way and no, I do not have to wear him still today. He is by far the most self confident and genuinely happy person I know, adult or child.

Also no, babies can not be manipulative. Babies have needs, they cry when then “need”. I respect children (or at least try to) no matter how old they are. I actually have “A person’s a person no matter how small” (Dr. Seuss) tattooed on my body ( I have a quote obsession).  Just because they are littler then we are does not mean their wants and needs should be ignored.  If a baby is crying I will do whatever it takes to make them not cry. I will nurse all day, wear all day, pace while singing all day, whatever it takes. Again, I have done this with all my children and none of them still expect to be carried! They are all very capable and confident. I think 5 awesome kids says I’ve done something right.

Obligatory-random-adorable sleeping baby picture….

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But again, even my Mom after all these years misjudges how I will react. I suppose I can’t hold on to any hope that people will “get” me and maybe I’m happier with them not. I like being a little odd.

And don’t worry, our friends (turns out another one was hiding) were saved and ran off happily.

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Running after baby!

Well its been 6 weeks since little man made his exit and I am DYING to have a race schedule, but nothing is planned yet. Some days I get to run, some I just get to hike, totally depends on when I can corner my Mom and get her to wear Tag while I get my run on. So how is running going these days for me?

As if running while pregnant isn’t enough of an adventure you then roll into the world of everyone telling you to “take it easy” so your uterus doesn’t fall out. For the record my uterus is still inside my body.

Week 1-  7.5 miles

Lets start with the day he was born, I hiked 4 miles (I’m sure you all ready this so you already know that). 3 days later my car needed work and I had 6 children to get to the store with, so we walked… 3.5 painfully uncomfortable and slow miles.

Week 2- 4.1 miles

I was dying. LITERALLY DYING! I needed to get out! So I hiked 1.1 miles on the mountain (totally breaking the rules) and walked 3 with some awesome lady friends (still breaking the rules).

Week 3- 20.9 miles

On day 17 I went into my midwives wearing running clothes. They gave me the OK to start “slowly” running and off I run! Literally. 9 of the miles this week were running and I felt like I was flying. I did everything I could to take it easy, but with the belly gone and the ability to breathe running just felt way too awesome. Tag made his first summit of Squaw Peak this week, he slept through it.

Week 4- 24.2

My goal has been to keep my running at a “easy” pace and hiking with Tag as “up” as I can. This week I ran 14.1 miles and Climbed 2,200 feet while wearing him. Hiking was feeling easier and easier and running was fun again!

Week 5- 27.2 Miles

DUUUDE! 6,400 feet of climbing while wearing this guy! We did 3,000 feet on one day, man it feels nice to spend 3 1/2 hours on a mountain. I only ran 10.6 miles, some days it’s harder to get someone to watch a baby.. Life…

Week 6- 25.1

This week has been a little sad… I was really hoping to be over 30 miles and much more climbing but shit just didn’t work. I don’t have extra hands around and my Mom can only watch him so much, so some days I have to suck it up and not run… Not matter how much it kills me. Plus, I was lazy. I could have totally gotten more climbing in but I just didn’t. Only 4,750 feet. Sigh…

I had an easy pregnancy, easy birth, and have had an easy running “come-back”. Luck? Maybe. But maybe a little of having a clear plan and strategy about coming back and continuing to run my entire pregnancy. I’m really hoping to pick some races and see what my body can do at this point. Planning to stop and nurse a baby that doesn’t have a schedule (and no I will not put him on a schedule) makes things even more tricky… But believe you me, I’ll be out at a race soon. Watch me now!

 

 

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Why is my baby always in white!

So apparently people have taken notice, little baby Tag is always in a white long sleeve onesie, ALWAYS! Why? Well mostly because I am crazy… but I do have a reason for this crazy (though it is just crazy…)

All boys clothes are “boy” colored. If it’s not crazy organic crunchy hippie mom stuff it’s usually brightly colored with trucks, trains, or sports on it. The crazy organic stuff is better, but still seems to try and “make” him into something. Or maybe it isn’t trying, but peoples opinions (even my own) about him change when he is wearing different colors/designs.

Tag is himself. He can not tell me what he likes, who he is, how he feels. When I look at him, when others look at him, I want them to see Tag, not “that little boys in the cute outfit”, just Tag. His face, his super lips, just him. Now maybe I’m off here and an outfit doesn’t change your perception of a baby or gloss over who they are, but why risk it? Or, really, who cares? ( I mean, white is easy to hang in the sun to get out the poop stains so maybe that’s my reason?)

Is he always going to wear white? Nah… But for now I want to just see my baby and learn who he really is before I start playing dress up with him (which WILL happen!)

I will leave you with adoable pictures of my baby Tag just in white-

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Belly after Birth!

Numbers on the scale mean nothing. How your body feels and what it is capable of mean everything. Skinny is nothing without muscle. I never want my girls to believe being “skinny” is what makes them beautiful, strength is beauty.

But alas, I can not explain this without using numbers… so deal with it for a moment.

4 years ago I weighed 115lbs. I was lifting and running and felt amazing. I was tiny but strong. The world was good.

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Pre pregnancy I was bouncing from 130-135. I wasn’t running well, wasn’t very happy, and wasn’t feeling healthy. I had many excuses and the more times I told myself those excuses were OK, the more I came up with. Kids has always been a big one, I’m a Mom of 5 after all…. running was just “selfish” despite that I am a better Mom when I’m feeling healthy. Definitely a “down” moment in my health and fitness.

This pregnancy got me outside. It started with a hike up Humphrey’s at 5 weeks pregnant with all my little people, and ended with my running 24 miles in my 38th week and hiking 4 miles an hour before I delivered. I ran or hiked 469.9miles during my pregnancy. January was my largest month in over a year with 94.6 miles and over 13,000 feet of climbing. I felt amazing.

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At my last visit to the midwife before birth I weighed 147lbs.

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6 days after giving birth I weigh 128lbs.

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yes, I am very sleepy!

 

That is insane to me. There is still fluid, my uterus isn’t totally shrunk, but I’m still below my pre pregnancy weight.

Why does that matter? Because it is proof I GAINED fitness during my pregnancy which is CRAZY. I get that I wasn’t in my ideal shape before, but gaining fitness? Just crazy. I felt great, ran well, and am proud of every step I took.

While the scale doesn’t matter I am beyond excited to see what my body is capable of now (well when I get the OK to work out again). After all the care I gave it during pregnancy I look forward to seeing how it will treat me not pregnant.

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Taggart James- The story of almost having a baby on a mountain.

Because I like to do everything myself.

Because I can fix a toilet while pregnant and taking care of 5 kids.

Because I decided being pregnant wasn’t going to stop me from getting out and running (or “running”)

Because running a half marathon at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant sounded like a fun idea. And it was.

During my pregnancy I ran a lot, mostly alone, tanned my giant belly, and made many people uncomfortable with my choices (slack lining well pregnant is an adventure!)

So basically I was setting myself up for a crazy birthing story. And boy did I deliver!

I was pretty sure the baby was coming out soon starting on Wednesday night. I ran on the canal with friends and really felt great. I hit 24 miles for the week that night and could not figure out why in the world I was feeling so awesome running. I felt like I could have run more that night, and I wasn’t feeling slow at all. Weird… and I ate a decent amount of food after, even weirder.

Thursday I decided to not run. My legs and unmentionable areas hurt (hello ligaments that loosen for birthing) and I just thought I would give myself a break. I did have moments of sadness wondering if I was squandering my last opportunity to run pregnant but I distracted myself with cleaning, shopping, and cake eating. None of those went well. I found myself beyond annoyed with people, I couldn’t really eat, but I guess the cleaning was OK (OCD much?). Thursday night I had fantasies of eating hoards of food but was too nauseous and just could not sleep. I was alone in the house awake, all night and could not figure out what was going on…

Until at 3am I rolled over “shit I peed myself..”. Up to the bathroom I would go, back to bed, another “shit I peed myself”, another bathroom visit… yes, super fun. In the back of my mind I knew my water was leaking but I also have a very hard time with the idea of being “the girl who cries labor”. I’ve always waited a long time to call my midwives and really thought I had a good handle on it this time. So I spent the night watching terrible television, trying to eat the cake and failing miserably, and lots of bathroom visits.

And lots of shorts changing… Because apparently putting a pad on was just not in my option bank at that point.

When it was finally a normal hour and the sun was up I decided to go for a hike. First I showered, because that makes total sense! In the shower I was having some contractions but nothing too terrible, I clearly have time here. New shorts, grabbed Piper and out the door I went.  I was too uncomfortable to run, but why not hike in the mountains alone while I’m having “mild and irregular” contractions? I would be fine of course, I had my phone. I talked with the older kids dad for a while as he was planning on bringing the kids by for the birth (which was so awesome of him) and he pointed out “well you are talking through the contractions so you have some time”.
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Yeah I did, I have time…. I texted people, made jokes, and figured I would hike 4 miles then head home and have plenty of time. Ouch…

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OUch…

Important note- I’ve vented about this before (https://sevenwildandfree.com/2016/01/28/hey-asshole-dog-owners/  ) But assholes with your dogs off leash!?! Two, yea TWO dogs ran at Piper and I while we were hiking. I’m pretty sure those owners would thank their lucky stars they survived after their dogs ran at a laboring woman and her giant dog. Ugh…

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FUCK…

“Am I peeing myself of just leaking?”

I actually stopped to pee… I’m not sure why, I wouldn’t have noticed the difference… Luckily I put on a lot of Body Glide before I left the house (it works for amniotic fluid leaking chaffing protection too! Where’s my sponsorship?!)

Ouch…

Dance party through contractions…

At some point I was stopping a lot. I could not go up hill while having a contraction so it was dancing or standing still. And yes, lots of cursing loudly. If you were near the Phoenix mountains between 9 and 11 on Friday morning you may have heard me!

I was texting my friend Liz who I have known for almost 11 years now (important note, we met on baby center when our oldest girls were 6 months. We met on the internet and decided to meet in person and neither of us were murderers!) At some point she said “I am thinking this baby is just going to fall out. Please go home!” And really, that was it. For some reason her saying it made me flip out just a little. Also, possibly that “pressure on my bottom” I was feeling added to my agreeing to head back.  So as I was about home I called my midwife…

10:44- “I can’t really time them, they may just be strong since I’m hiking…”

“Go home and drink something. Lay down for 20 minutes and time them, then call me back”

Home I came (after i finished my 4 miles!) and I tried to lay down. Piper begins barking and I have to go bring her inside… I lay down again-oh shit I need to make the bed-Oh shit contractions Oh shit I can’t lay down – Oh shit- Oh Shit- Call midwife 11:17

“hey so I can’t lay down…”

“because they hurt too much?”

“yeah…”

“I’ll be right there

Seth shows up with Tea and Tru. I am way too worked up to sit and have a conversation with the kids. I felt terrible but I just couldn’t talk through the contractions.

Seth “What? you don’t want to have a conversation with me” (comedic genius)

Me “Go fuck yourself!”

Seth “Well I’ll take these guys and feed them, let me know how things are going and I’ll bring them back”

Midwife gets here at 11:37

Checks me- 9 cm…

Text Seth “ok now…”

Mom shows up and all I can ask for is her to clean the bathroom so I can take a shower in a clean environment after. Priorities!

11:47- I start pushing, because I am NOT waiting on anyone. It’s important to note I am very disappointed with how terribly I took the pushing. I think there was added stress in the room and just in general I wasn’t in the head space I should have been in . Instead of working with my contractions and understand this little one just wanted out I was fighting everything and making it worse. I also should have eaten more, I mean, I was on the mountain for almost 2 hours… and maybe hydrated… I was exhausted… But, he came out!

12:08- Cord around his little neck was unwrapped and I brought him to my chest. For the first time I was the one that got to look and was so excited to see he was a boy! ( I really did not have a girl’s name I loved and with a tween girl I had decided I can handle boys better!) 8lbs 3oz – 21 1/4 inches. 1 week early.

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People showed up, things happened, I showered (me showering twice in one day?!?!) And the world was pretty sweet!

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Laboring alone was very odd for me. I was literally on my own and in the mountains until 9cm. I’ve always had people around as a labored but this time the mountains gave me my strength. Damn, that’s pretty beautiful! I spent 2 hours in the mountain laboring and just an hour at home before this little man came into my world. I am beyond thankful.

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His name! With nearly ever baby I’ve had I considered the name Taggart. It’s my Grandpa’s last name and he had 4 girls, seems only fair to add it to my list of T’s. In the end it just never felt right for any of my Littles… Until this little guy. I had always felt like he was a boy but never really admitted it to anyone.  Taggart just felt like his name, my baby Tag. His middle name is James. Lets get confusing- It’s my Dad’s name, my brother’s middle name, AND when Tru came to me it was his middle name, oh and my cousins middle name. Overused? Maybe! But Taggart James is a strong name for this strong Little Man!

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Hey Asshole Dog Owners!

I get it, your dog is friendly, I don’t care! If your dog is off leash it better be under control  which means NOT leaving your side or coming anywhere near my dog or kids. If your dog begins following us we are not stopping to help you get your dog back. Yup, I’m an asshole. My dog is ON leash (except maybe in the backcountry where you see no one) and I’m not responsible for your poor decisions.

Now, if your dog is on a leash and you can not control it we have even more issues. If your dog is going to pull toward the giant pregnant lady and her dog running on the trail, maybe you should not be on the trail! How about being a little more particular on where you walk your dog? Not only is it dangerous to my dog (I really don’t need my dog bitten because your dog is stronger then you) but if I end up falling because your dog trips me I promise you that won’t go well for you.

Just move! Step off the trail when people are passing. Move your dog away and keep everyone safe. If your dog sucks (which really just means you suck) it is your responsibility to move, no matter what trail etiquette says at that point.

I was crushing (ha!) a downhill the other day and had to stop dead in my tracks as a woman and her daughter grabbed there dog to put it on leash (frantically I may add). Ok, fine, you made a poor choice having your poorly behaved dog off leash. Now why OH WHY did you need to stand in the middle of the trail to get your dog on the leash? Why could you not scoot off the trail and handle your business. Why did my dog and I have to wait while you handled your stupidity? Even better was you then decided to continue walking (not just letting me pass politely) and allowed your dog to pull toward mine repeating “oh you just want to say hi don’t you”. NO! I am RUNNING.  See, RUNNING HERE! My dog is doing work and does not stop to “say hi” while we are running. My dog will bite your dog though if she feels I am threaten, good plan there.

Look, I get mistakes, but there are way too many terrible dog owners. It’s not cute or funny that your dog doesn’t listen, it’s being a terrible owner. I refuse to be polite to these people, I mostly just ignore and go about my run. When my children are involved there is a chance I will be downright rude if your dog comes running toward us. Deal with it. My children are taught to lie to people when they are walking/running with Piper and I’m not around (I let them lie to adults!?!?). No our dog is not friendly, don’t come near me she will bite you, and ALWAYS over react when Piper becomes interested in someone like she really wants to kill them. Will she bite someone? Maybe. Early in my pregnancy she began growling at men she didn’t like on the trail. She is a wonderful dog, but part of her job is protecting. She doesn’t need random people petting her as she works and the kids need to feel like she is there to care for them, not make other people happy.

In conclusion, just stay out of the pregnant angry lady’s way with your crappy dog, but maybe you should just stop sucking as an owner.

And now my adorable well behaved Piper! (well mostly well behaved…)

 

 

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Causing a Scene on the Trail

I usually run when no one is on the trail,  just how it ends up working out. Every so often I get a stare or kind word, but mostly it’s a lonely go for Miss Piper Dog and I. Yesterday being a holiday for some reason did not compute with me that the trails would be busy (not that I really care…). Well hello crazy looks and second glances! Apparently a pregnant woman on the trail running is weird, a bunch of kids on the trail running is weird, put them together and it’s an alien envasion!

I haven’t really run with my little people in a while… I think I’ve just been in my own world. We have hiked and done some running, but it didn’t ever feel like a real run. This week I got in 4 or so miles with Tea and felt awesome about it, then decided while Tru was occupied to get in some mountain time with the others. Let me tell you, keeping up with a crew of 6-12 year olds is hard work at 35 weeks pregnant! They were nice and waited for my often, but man did they drop me as soon as they started rolling (even little Ten)! I was a pretty proud Momma as they all rocked the trail. Little Tenny took a rough turn right in front of some hikers and ate it hard! She popped up and started running again as I (40 feet behind) got the death stare from said hikers! Eh, it happens. So 3 miles with my people and I’m feeling slower then ever, but pretty complete…

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34 weeks?

Where has the time gone?! I feel moments of “damn am I done yet?!” And moments of extreme terror “can this baby stay in forever?!?!” All my Littles are more then ready to meet their new brother or sister, and we do have 2 outfits… soooo… what else do we need?

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Boy or girl? What’s your guess??

Running?

Yup, I’m still at it. Sloooooow goes it with moments of abrupt stops, hands on knees, and very loud “FUUUUUCK”‘s. It happens. There is very clearly a head down low which causes some interesting pains at times, but it’s very well worth it. My golden miles are usually 4-6, I feel great and can really run! But well… then things get interesting…

Strava’s Monday-Sunday just seems silly at this point. I decided to count my weekly miles in my pregnant weeks. Thursday, the first day at 34 weeks, I ran 7 miles and yesterday I did 3.9. By next Wednesday I will have my 30 miles for the week, no matter how slow those miles may be.

What’s funny about “slow” is I love encouraging new runners. My mantra of “it doesn’t matter how fast you are, lets enjoy the view” I really do believe. But I suppose its always harder to look at  yourself and be patient. Everyone I have ever run with and walked happily with up each hill, I loved it. I really do believe being a “runner” is a mindset and no matter how fast (or slow) you move you are still a runner, I promise to try and be more patient with myself as I have done with so many other.

Strength-

I feel like there is a huge misunderstanding with the outward and public strength I show. My “it’s ok” “just a moment in life” and “i’ve got this” stand is true, but that does NOT mean I am OK with the situation. I do not have a choice but to continue to move forward and handle my life. I do not have the luxury (or misfortune) of being able to avoid responsibilities. I can’t run around (ha, run) and pretend I’m not about to have a new little human. I am a Mom. When I tell you “I’m good, I’ve got this” I really do, but that does not justify or gloss over the behavior of others.

But really, I’ve got this 🙂

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These legs get extra love… or freezing pools..

Categories: Running | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I Hate Stupid Girls!

I am so over stupid girls! Those girls that do everything they can to make themselves victims and then don’t understand at all when bad things happen. Where is personal responsibility today???

You’ve seen them, maybe you are one, running down the road hat with the brim pulled down (because sun is terrible) and 2 ear buds in jamming to their music. Yup, who needs any of their senses?! I mean, I know I don’t want to be able to hear if someone is running up behind me (I LOVE when you jump as I run past you) or see that person hiding behind the bushes. Really? Senses are overrated.

What about that one on the trails? Sunglasses, music, paying no attention to what animals might be around them. Look, I like to jam too, but I rock the one ear bud. I like being able to hear people around me, know when someone is coming, hear a rattlesnake!?? I mean seriously, no senses means you are a victim.

I have always taken myself out of uncomfortable situations (when I am not impaired by drugs or alcohol and can make a intelligent decision). Recently I read “The Gift of Fear” which really reiterated how important trusting yourself is, especially as a woman. From a young age we are taught to not trust our instincts and instead be nice to everyone, even when it feels wrong. Think about ever time you were told to hug a family member but just didn’t want to, sit on Santa’s lap but it made you uncomfortable, or say thank you to a seemingly kind stranger despite them giving you the creeps. Every time that happens it takes a little bit of your safety alarm away. Eventually you do not have it anymore and put yourself in situations that could become dangerous. If your parents had not forced these things upon you, would you still make the same choices?

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not believe we should be afraid of everything. I do believe women especially should choose to be intelligent. Listen to music with one ear but listen to your surroundings with your other. Wear a hat or sunglasses, but you are taking away your field of vision, so scan around you often. Be smart, choose to not look like a victim so you are less likely to BE a victim.

Let’s talk about Strava. When you run the same route every Tuesday from work at 11am and post it online, how are you not a victim?! Maybe it hasn’t become an issue yet, but Craiglist wasn’t a venue for crime as soon as it started either. You can add an area of protection around your home or workplace so people can not pinpoint exactly where you live/work, but is that enough? If they know your car and generally where you are running from how hard would it be to find your house? Be cautious. Run different routes. Run at different times of the day. Make your Strava so you have to “approve” people and don’t approve people you don’t know.

I see it often with parents posting where their child goes to school on social media. It’s not an issue until it IS an issue, but be safe now. Later posts are better, not a “out on the trail right here dying” posts to give someone an opening. Don’t wreck yourself out there on the trail so you couldn’t run away if you needed to. Ladies, be smart. Let’s stop making women look bad and start taking car of ourselves.

 

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