Posts Tagged With: Too many kids

The Alone Life

So I’m a single mom of 6 kids, who’s interested??

Yup, that’s the opening line to my stand up routine… hence why I don’t actually have a stand up routine…

But really, who sees a mom to 6 kids and thinks “hey, I want in on that mess”?

Six kids… That is a lot.

Five kids sounded like a lot….

I’ve had it together for these past couple of months since Tag’s birth. I think where most mer mortals would have folded, collapsed at the exhaustion and stress, I excelled. I’ve always taken a challenge well and doing this “single mom to an infant plus five other kids half the time” thing was my biggest challenge to date. I’ve felt in control of my emotions and very “put together”, but not these last couple of weeks. Somehow I have turned into an emotional wreck every time a love song comes on. I cry, in public sometimes- Sabrina does not cry!

So what is it?  I have zero desire to date and zero time.

I am happy being single- While my friends are telling me “you just had a baby, you’ll be interested in dating later”, in my head I’m daydreaming about all the running adventures I will go on in this “later” they speak of.

I have no one to answer to, it’s pretty sweet. My kids roll with all my crazy antics: breakfast for dinner, last minute adventures, impromptu dance parties, and we have no one to judge us. No one to question why we spent money on unnecessary things. No one to check in with. No one to judge my kid messy car. No one to kibosh any stupid (yet fun!) ideas we have. We like it.

If I did have any free time a man is not what I would want to spend it on. I would rather spend more time with my kids, read more, run, go on adventures, write, maybe make that “money” thing everyone speaks of. So much to do, dating is not even close to the table…

So why the sadness as of late? I think I’ll chalk it up to my hormones being a mess post birth. Maybe exhaustion has finally built up enough and I can no longer ignore it. Or maybe it’s just normal? Maybe it’s normal to be sad you don’t have something everyone else (ok not everyone) has but not really want it in the end? Nah, it’s just hormones, I’ll take an extra placenta pill and call it a day.

There was an old woman who lived in a running shoe… I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes.

IMG_4476-2

All the man I need! (well… Tag and the 3 others I suppose)

Advertisements
Categories: Single Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Filling the Table

I always had the feeling that I was missing someone. I would count my kids and still feel like I had it wrong. From the moment Tajh started walking I remember having that panic moment. It continued no matter how many I had. Even at 8 kids I felt like someone was missing on a regular basis. Weird to say, but I never felt “done”…

Until about 8 months ago. I looked around and told myself I had everyone… no more were coming… I began looking up how I wanted to handle being “done” I don’t do hormonal birth control and I just “knew’ no more were coming, so research began…  I’ve had the question of whether or not this on was an “accident”, as rude as a question that is, I will say it wasn’t completely unplanned or planned.

Even with that being said, and knowing a baby was a possibility I hadn’t had that “feeling” of not being done. I still felt finished, my table felt full, my arms felt busy… And even these first 21 weeks I haven’t felt like there was another one joining us. I really don’t know how to explain it, but my family has just felt complete…

Some nights are busy with activities, drop offs, pick ups, and trying to get everyone fed and in bed (without leaving a giant mess) is a lot. I don’t always sit at the table during dinner, sometimes dishes need to be done, now, so I can function in the morning… Tonight as they ate, talking about their day while listening to some Cat Stevens I looked over..

IMG_5706

 

And suddenly my table did not feel so full….

I had that same feeling that someone is missing.. someone will be joining us soon.

To be exact, this someone-IMG_5707

 

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

5 kids. 1 Mommy. 1 Big Peak. Humphreys.

I don’t like to compare my kids to other peoples, I get it, they are all unique and special in their own way… But mine are pretty badass!

Tenny is 4. She is adorable, funny, a pain in the ass, and full of energy.  She loves running but gymnastics is definitely her thing. This tiny little body is packed with muscle…. but she is only 4…

Most of the time when we hike she gets worn, because wearing two babies is apparently my thing

Spending time in colorado she spent a lot of time on her feet. The largest hike being nearly 4 miles with just under 3,000 of elevation gain (Island Lake). After hiking up, she slept on my back majority of the way down. Although she is clearly tough, the idea of taking a 4-year-old on an all day hike (oh yeah and 4 other children) alone is somewhat frightening. Apparently I like watching my life flash before my eyes…

When +1 said he had work to do in Flagstaff I said “great we will join you! I want to take the kids up Humphreys myself”. I’m pretty sure to anyone that just sounds stupid. 5 kids, age 11-3, almost 5 miles  and over 3,000 feet of climbing, sound like a good time?

They were all thrilled to be woken up early.

They were all thrilled to be woken up early.

Getting ready for an all day trek with everyone is stressful in itself. We rolled up the the parking lot and they all ran off to play. I did my best to round them up for sunscreen and to throw some packs on the big ones. Tenny was stoked to hike and took off in a sprint, which resulted in a potty break before we could even hit the trees “I have to pee now Mommy!” She almost got off the trail…

And we are off!

And we are off!

 

The first half hour she ran, a lot. Girl was excited to be on her own two feet. By an hour in it was snack time, eat and hike peeps we gotta keep moving.

Just keep moving.

Just keep moving… in American Apparel leggings of course.

*Note- I do not have a lot of pictures. My phone is super ghetto and the battery does not last long anymore. Even on airplane mode trying to save the battery for as long as possibly, I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to get a picture at the top if I wasn’t careful. Sorry…

So we snacked every half an hour or so and they kept moving. They love to play together while hiking and their was some sort of Pokemon/horse game going on. I was happy they didn’t need me at this point as Tru was in the worst mood ever! My Little hiking buddy needed a nap and was not having it for some reason.. ugh… there may have been threats of bear attacks if he continued to scream which did cause them to subside enough for him to fall asleep for a while. Pokemon/horse continued on.

I missed a turn. I know I suck. So we scrambled up. Teagan continued to question me and all I responded was “up”. We trudged on with Tajh behind Tenny to keep her from sliding down. Eventually we found the trail, hit the saddle, and into the rocks larger then Tenny.

Up!

Up!

“Tajh just push her butt up” I commanded after watching him try and have her step on his hand, which took forever. “This is awkward…” because he is 11 and everything is awkward.  At no point have we rested at all, I knew we didn’t have time in the day for that. We did though move off the trail if anyone was coming toward us. One of these times Tenny took the opportunity to lay down on a large rock “I just want to go to bed Mommy”, “Yes hunny, me too, lets go”.

So sleepy...

So sleepy…

She picked a nice view.

She picked a nice view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On we went. If was windy and cold up top and holding hands was necessary to help the Little Lady up the steps larger then she. No one was complaining, other then about being cold. I sent the Bigs ahead as soon as we saw the summit, and not gonna lie, I got pretty darn excited hiking up with Tenny.

Up go the Big's

Up go the Bigs

 

5 hours and 5 minutes after starting Tenny summited Humphreys Peak.

My Littles.

My Littles.

Second nap of the day for this guy.

Second nap of the day for this guy.

Snacks

Snacks

 

Rest

Rest

 

Snacks

Snacks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We sat and she ate her peanut butter cup (yup just one). The Big’s and I discussed letting her take a nap, but at this point it was pretty late. After a 30 minute rest we started down the mountain again. They discussed how heading straight down the scree would be much fast “see mommy then we just head through the trees to the car”. Sigh… That’s a no.

Having left without our sandwiches we had only snacks all day, everyone was starving. We daydreamed about pizza, all of us, and hiked. The horse game came back (no pokemon this time) and Tenny fell, “That was (insert horses name)’s fault. I’m ok”.  Although none of them ever had imaginary friends, they really commit when playing in the mountains.

We finished with only pizza on our minds, 4 1/2 hours after leaving the summit (down is hard when you are super short). Tenny was asleep within 2 minutes of driving but woke in time to eat. They probably all passed right out at bedtime you assume? Of course not!  They would not go to sleep! Does anything exhaust my Littles? I’ve yet to find it! When asked what he favorite part of the day was Tenny responded “seeing the top”, yup, that’s my girl. All my Littles continue to amazing me. I’m one proud Momma.

All 5 kids took in 3,850 calories over the nearly 10 hour day.

 

 

Categories: Adventures with Littles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Island Lake? Psh my 4-year-old can do that.

Did someone say epic? Oh yeah, that’s how we roll. A journey with 5 kids into the unknown? Yes please. Even better, let someone tell me there is “lots of snow up there” and apparently I decide it’s an even better idea. With +1 at the lead I strapped Tru on my back and headed to Island Lake.

Now we have done part of this journey before. Last year we drove to the parking lot at the end of South Mineral campground and headed up Ice Lake trail. To head to Island Lake you take a turn at some point, that’s all I knew. Last year I was in shape, this year I haven’t done anything in a nearly a month, I knew this was going to hurt, at least a little.

Now let’s remember, little Tenny is 4. I had NO clue how long this hike was going to be, but I knew from the start she was going to make it on her own 2 feet.

Off we go!

Off we go!

The first hour was a nice hike. Upness was there, but everyone was moving pretty well with Tenny moving at “4-year-old who randomly gets boosts of energy to catch her siblings” pace. River crossings were met with helping hands from siblings, and Tru took his first nap of the day. I’m pretty sure this kid only likes hiking for the naps!

First river crossing. They got larger!

First river crossing. They got larger!

See, larger.

See, larger.

I get by with a little help from my siblings.

I get by with a little help from my siblings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I figured snack after an hour and then maybe another within the next half hour, they had other plans. These kids were hungry! So they ate and hiked and Little Miss Tenny got a second wind, even if it only lasted a little while.

Snack break turned into birdwatching time.

Snack break turned into birdwatching time.

Upness

Upness

"Mommy van!" -Tru

“Mommy van!” -Tru

Now about snow, I don’t like it. I am not a fan of being cold. So we hit some snow fields, and some more, and some sketchier ones. I spent a lot of time asking the kids to watch their feet and asking (re-asking) +1 if it was safe.

More snow.

More snow.

Snow

Snow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still snow.

Still snow, and Tenny!

Tenny does not like having cold and which did lead to some freak outs EVERY time she fell…which was a lot. Luckily +1 did help her through some of the extra crazy spots. And then we saw it:

 

photo-12

The amazing blue of the water could been seen through the ice layer, which the kids promptly began throwing rocks at. What kid doesn’t want to watch ice break? We had lunch, threw more rocks, and laid our shoes and socks out to dry. And then got attacked by marmots-

 

I can confidently say the best playground for children is a giant frozen lake over 12,000 feet in the sky. The only way to live.

 

Ice Breaking.

Ice Breaking.

More Ice Breaking.

More Ice Breaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rock throwing,

Rock throwing,

Time to leave.

The snow fields on the way drown were beyond sketchy. Sadly my phone died (then came back to life further down the mountain) so I wasn’t able to get any of the epic shots on +1 skiing on his feet down crazy snow fields at 12,000 feet or my Littles getting cold butts as they sledding (sans sled) down. We will have to head back and make it happen.

Drinking from waterfalls "best water ever!"

Drinking from waterfalls “best water ever!”

"Mommy next time lets bring no water and just fill in the waterfalls" Good plan kids... good plan.

“Mommy next time lets bring no water and just fill in the waterfalls” Good plan kids… good plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tenny napped on my back (girl deserved the break!) , Tru on +1’s (so thankful to have another adult for this trek) and we all made is safely back down. In case you are keeping track, My 4-YEAR-OLD hiked for 3 1/2 hours over 4 miles up with nearly 3,000 elevation gain. Yup, she is bad ass. All in all it was nearly an 8 hour day and so worth it! If only for the marmot eating Tay’s pee off the ground story…

 

Dirty shoes picture requested by Tay.

Dirty shoes picture requested by Tay.

and some others.

and some others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And let me say, my Little people who have been fighting and struggling to be friends the last few months were AMAZING the entire 8 hours. Helpful to one another and kinder then I could ever ask for. Thank you nature!

Oh yes, and my adorable pollen nose little buddy. Best hiking friend ever! Anytime I fall and give a "shit" under my breath I'm met with "ok mommy?". Love him!

Oh yes, and my adorable pollen nose little buddy. Best hiking friend ever! Anytime I fall and give a “shit” under my breath I’m met with “ok mommy?”. Love him!

Categories: Adventures with Littles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Silverton!

It’s Silverton time baby! Headed up a little late Friday with all the Little People. Van pack full of food, breakfast in their snack bins, and no real plan in mind. Decided to keep it simple this trip and not think too much, if you know me, that’s a clear lie.

I will say my planning sucked for this trip. Nearly everything I have for the kids I have bought myself in the last 6 months. I like matching shirts (so I can find them easier if they are lost), comfy clothes, basically whatever it takes to keep things as simple as possible. Yet, I found myself with nothing, and a whole lot of shopping to do. With drama always on my door step, getting out of town took longer then I wanted.

So we drove, FINALLY, the 6 of us. We stopped when we wanted, snacked when we wanted. Other then a little more whinning then I would have like, it went well! And then they saw Silverton:

 

Obviously they are a little odd… but I kinda like how Tay calls marrying the same gender “flavor”. He is well on his way to a comedy career.. or incarceration… a Mother can never be too sure!

 

They talked about how much they love small towns and they ran around on the playground and all came back out of breathe! Oh, a Hardrock loving Mothers dream. They were all so happy to be “home”.

We headed off in the mountains to sleep. It was too late for me to care to put up a tent, van it was. Tru laid on me for a while and was nice enough to inform me “no poop Mommy, no poop”. Thanks Buddy, glad you don’t plan on pooping on me tonight. Everyone found their “spot” and sleep came. The morning was my favorite:

 

On to the fun adventures! I have some exciting plans for my out-of-shape little ultra runners! Stay tuned!

Categories: Our Homeless Summer | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sorry, Momma don’t pay.

I do not believe in allowance, I never have. When I was growing up we didn’t have much money. My mom worked hard to be sure we had the things we wanted. Did I get every new toy I wanted? Hell no. Did I get the newest fancy clothes? Nope. But when it came to things that were good for me (activities, classes), I had them. My family owned a business and I began working from a young age. at 15 I had 2 jobs over the summer, one being full time. I was always working hard because no one was ever going to hand me anything.

My kids have always grown up being a part of the household. If I ask you to sweep, pick up someone elses’ mess, wash the dishes, anything, you do it. I have always been met with a “yes mommy” because we are a family. You eat here, have a roof over your head, toys, clothes, everything you need, so you participate. I do the majority of the work, but you must be willing to help when I need it.

Divorce sucks. When you have been the “on call” parent your children’s entire life, you have done a lot of research and come up with a pretty concise parenting plan. And then the game changes on you…. All of the sudden kids are given an allowance, not taught to save and instead buy toys that would to totally be off-limits with your parenting, and food choices seem like Halloween at all times…. ugh…

Learning to parent through this is far from easy.  I refuse to change my values, the values they are grown up with, but of course they wish I would. They are little, you can not expect them to understand “because its good for you”. So alas my helpers are harder to deal with. There is always push back, asking to be paid, expecting things that were normally held as “treats”.  Does this anger me? absolutely. I wish they could hold on to the values I have instilled in them. But, that’s not the case. Now I must learn to hold my emotions. I must learn everything will take a little longer. Nothing will be as simple as it once was.

I suppose just another episode in the saga “Divorced Parenting”

 

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vomit

Im sitting at Starbucks while my +1 is racing. It’s one of those silly races that I can do nothing at. No updates, no driving to aid stations, just sitting… waiting… I could have gone for a run but I feel like the blood clots are back in my legs and even running a little hurts (superficial blood clots, not the super scary ones). So Starbucks it is.

You know what’s awesome? Being in a restaurant and having a 2-year-old that has been fine ALL day just vomit. Yup. Now let’s picture this, I am there alone with 5 hungry children. It’s late and we really just need to eat and get “home” (yeah we still don’t have a real home…. story for another day) and head to bed. So, being the awesome Mom I am, I give the loud “oh Honey did you choke on a chip”, trying to save myself and not have to run out of the restaurant. He, said 2-year-old who will remain unnamed is not upset or having issue at all. OF COURSE a certain 8-year-old has to VERY loudly respond to her mother’s rhetorical question “Mommy I don’t think that was because of a chip”- Death Stare to said 8-year-old… Ugh… Did I leave? NO! It was only a little vomit, I was able to clean it up on the sly. 2-year-old just kept shaking his finger at me saying “no more mommy no mommy”. Ok buddy, I get it, you won’t vomit any more. He kept eating, we all laughed and had a great time. Mommy win!

Jump to the next morning, everyone is eating breakfast and Tay asks “Mommy will eating something make me feel better”? “I think so buddy” I respond. I head upstairs to take care of Tru and turn to the bathroom door to see Tay staring at me. That stare only a mother knows “hey buddy you feeling alright…” and before I can finish he has vomited all over the floor. Clearly we are doing well right now. He now feels better, I clean everything up, and drop them off with their Dad. It’s +1’s birthday and we are heading to California for him to race this silly 50k, EXCEPT we BOTH feel terrible too!

So we drive feeling like we are both going to throw up. Try and eat dinner feeling like we are both going to throw up. Sleep in the car feeling like we are both going to throw up. Sit in the car with the heater on at the race start feeling like we are both going to throw up. Then he does, and now he is racing. Because, that’s what you feel like in an ultra, right? Silly boys….

Moral of the story, there is a lot of vomiting going on. AND you may want to stay away from me, I haven’t vomited yet, sorry Starbucks peeps. I’m looking forward to feeling a little better and hanging out in California with +1 having some fun for his birthday!

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Tajh my Tajh

Some days I feel like Tajh (10), the sweet, loving, innocent boy who would always protect his Mother is lost forever. I seriously start to wonder if he is possessed or possibly has had his body take over by some hormonal, angry, confused, loud, frustrating, obnoxious alien. Either way, it sucks! And then occasionally I get the joy of having my little man back, and I am thankful.

IMG_5796

Since Facebook has become the “repost every article you find mildly interesting” forum, I have felt inundated with articles I would normally never read, but now feel the pressure to. Some articles do catch my attention though, mostly the ones having to do with parenting. Recently I read one about raising boys, a subject very near and dear to my heart. I want to raise my boys to be the best husbands (or partners) they can be. I want them to open doors (screw feminism) and make their partner feel special. I want them to think of others, be kind, be polite, and most importantly be an asset to society. I feel like most Mothers would say the same, but how many follow through? I literally stand at doors until one of my boys open them. I have an expectation that my boys will be taking care of me, and in return I try to be the Mother they deserve.

I send Tajh into the store alone on occasion. I have 5 kids, sometimes it’s nice to not have to drag them all in, and I trust him to behave appropriately. Today I sent him in list in hand to grab a couple of things. He returned as always with money in his fist (he literally never puts it in his pocket, I find this odd… but then again he is a tad odd), bag in hand, and he hoped into the van casually. As he got in his seat he says “well mommy the rolls were on sale so I got you something”. I peek in the bag to find my favorite special drink. What 10-year-old boy grocery shops for his Mother and then thinks about how he can surprise her? How many husbands/boyfriends are absolutely incapable of grocery shopping, let alone are able to think of bringing their partner a surprise? My little Tajh is such a beautiful young man. The compassion he has for animals is incredible, and his drive to learn more about them is intense. He spends his days reading, thinking, dreaming. He loves nature, weaves sticks in his crazy hair, and finds beauty where most would miss it as they rush by. This little guy made me into a Mother, he stole my heart, he helped me become the person I am today. Life with a tween can be rough, you just have to remember the little things.  So whatever alien gave him his body back for the day, thank you!

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Homeless life is exhausting

Now don’t get my wrong, I honestly LOVE being homeless. I think being homeless by yourself, or with a partner could be pretty cool. No agenda, no real plans, the fly by the seat of your pants approach to life is great. Having a bunch of kids makes it tiring.

No T.V. to put them in front of so you can “relax”

No couch to “take a break” on

All the elements that cause added stress (e.g. rain, hail, anything causing them to be inside)

Cooking all 3 meals plus snacks (there is no easy way out here)

Dishes being done by hand after every meal (I don’t want to be eaten by a bear)

Clothing being washed in the creek or at a Laundromat

Always being vigilant in order to be sure the children don’t fall off a mountain/eat something that will poison them/get eaten by something

Basically there is no escaping hard work when you are homeless with kids. Breaks don’t come like they do when you live in a house. I am tired all day, every day. I need a nap, I need some down time, I need to watch some terrible television and veg out, and I wouldn’t change any of that for the world! What I am learning about myself, my children, and that weird guy that keeps following us everywhere, Seth, is worth all the exhaustion that can be thrown at me. May I suggest you try homelessness too?

Disclaimer- I am talking about homelessness by choice. Before you get all huffy about how being homeless because you have to be and how “there is nothing fun in that” and how I am “terrible for implying that anyone should be homeless”, I understand homelessness because you have to be is terrible. I understand there is nothing fun about that. So, now you can’t yell at me!

Categories: Our Homeless Summer | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.