Posts Tagged With: single parent

My Kids Hate hiking

It’s that time of year again! My kids and I head out on some awesome Mommy and kid adventures: me smiling from ear to ear with pride, them skipping their way up mountains all day. I mean, that is what my social media shows after all! And for some reason that was what  I was expecting…

I have two tweens, and they happen to be two of my most opinionated children I own. Apparently they thought going to Silverton Colorado this year was going to be a lot of walking around town, hanging out at the library, and eating candy. Ummm?? Have they met their Mom??

My oldest is out-of-town so it was just the youngest 5 and I in a tent. Every single hike I suggested was met with whinnying and complaints. The tweens wanted no part of it. They picked apart every hike trying to decide which would take the least amount of time. They wanted to get hikes done quickly then go to town…not my idea of living in the mountains.

I was mad. I was hurt. I was legitimently wondering where I went wrong… We have spent countless summers in the mountains. We have spent days hiking together happily… What was different?

Then I had an epiphany-

A happy Mom is a caffeinated Mom. So, more caffeine for me…and headphones!

Look, I knew in my heart they would be happy once they go out there. Every runner that has been out for a while knows how hard it is to get that motivation back. I knew a couple of miles in they would find their groove and be those mountain loving kids again. But it was ME that was the real problem. I was getting hurt by their refusal, I just had to figure out how to get myself out there and “out there” in a positive mood!

So that’s what I did. I shoved my headphones into my pack and over caffeinated myself. I was ready for whatever foul mood they wanted to pull. And guess what? They had fun!

So Mom hack #207- Caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine! Plus some headphones! (which I never ended up having to use!)

Categories: Adventures with Littles, Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Alone Life

So I’m a single mom of 6 kids, who’s interested??

Yup, that’s the opening line to my stand up routine… hence why I don’t actually have a stand up routine…

But really, who sees a mom to 6 kids and thinks “hey, I want in on that mess”?

Six kids… That is a lot.

Five kids sounded like a lot….

I’ve had it together for these past couple of months since Tag’s birth. I think where most mer mortals would have folded, collapsed at the exhaustion and stress, I excelled. I’ve always taken a challenge well and doing this “single mom to an infant plus five other kids half the time” thing was my biggest challenge to date. I’ve felt in control of my emotions and very “put together”, but not these last couple of weeks. Somehow I have turned into an emotional wreck every time a love song comes on. I cry, in public sometimes- Sabrina does not cry!

So what is it?  I have zero desire to date and zero time.

I am happy being single- While my friends are telling me “you just had a baby, you’ll be interested in dating later”, in my head I’m daydreaming about all the running adventures I will go on in this “later” they speak of.

I have no one to answer to, it’s pretty sweet. My kids roll with all my crazy antics: breakfast for dinner, last minute adventures, impromptu dance parties, and we have no one to judge us. No one to question why we spent money on unnecessary things. No one to check in with. No one to judge my kid messy car. No one to kibosh any stupid (yet fun!) ideas we have. We like it.

If I did have any free time a man is not what I would want to spend it on. I would rather spend more time with my kids, read more, run, go on adventures, write, maybe make that “money” thing everyone speaks of. So much to do, dating is not even close to the table…

So why the sadness as of late? I think I’ll chalk it up to my hormones being a mess post birth. Maybe exhaustion has finally built up enough and I can no longer ignore it. Or maybe it’s just normal? Maybe it’s normal to be sad you don’t have something everyone else (ok not everyone) has but not really want it in the end? Nah, it’s just hormones, I’ll take an extra placenta pill and call it a day.

There was an old woman who lived in a running shoe… I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes.

IMG_4476-2

All the man I need! (well… Tag and the 3 others I suppose)

Categories: Single Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Killing Time

After a summer of fun its always hard to get back into the swing of school, driving, rushing, homework, oh yeah, and that living inside thing. We are fully in the mix right now and *almost* there.

Tajh and Tea go to and awesome school and last years one drop off/pick up with pretty nice. This year Tay is going to the school of his dreams (seriously he is expected to climb trees and plays in the desert) which adds anything drive into the mix. Luckily his school is close to the big two. Unluckily the drop off is an hour apart (pick up is perfect for Littles to nap which is pretty nice) so creative we must become with our in-between time. Well… it hasn’t been too hard…

Running

Running

Running...

Running…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Running...

Running…

Running...

Running…

and more running!

and more running!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are lucky and have multiple trail heads a short drive from Big 2’s school. Every day the 3 Little Littles and I drive somewhere and head out for a “run”.  Hats, water bottles, games, exploring, whatever it takes we “usually” get almost a mile in with some “upness” involved. Not only do with run,

We sword fight.

We sword fight.

Boulder.

Boulder.

 

Help little brothers learn to boulder.

Help little brothers learn to boulder.

 

Kick it.

Kick it.

Hydrate.

Hydrate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet new friends. Red tail hawk ( I believe) buddy loves doing fly overs.

Meet new friends. Red tail hawk ( I believe) buddy loves doing fly overs.

And spend time taking in the views.

And spend time taking in the views.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When all the adults in your life run you learn really cool tricks.

"Look mom I'm pretending to eat a salted carmel GU!"

“Look mom I’m pretending to eat a salted carmel GU!”

Oh and you get caught with markers in your room at times. Its ok calmly explain how you were out for a run and got attacked by wolves. My can’t get made about all the “blood”…

 

At least they can pose.

At least they can pose.

So to some it up, we are exhausted! But having tons of fun..

 

It's a rough life running 4 days a week... better find someone sneaky to nap.

It’s a rough life running 4 days a week… better find somewhere sneaky to nap.

 

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 kids. 1 Mommy. 1 Big Peak. Humphreys.

I don’t like to compare my kids to other peoples, I get it, they are all unique and special in their own way… But mine are pretty badass!

Tenny is 4. She is adorable, funny, a pain in the ass, and full of energy.  She loves running but gymnastics is definitely her thing. This tiny little body is packed with muscle…. but she is only 4…

Most of the time when we hike she gets worn, because wearing two babies is apparently my thing

Spending time in colorado she spent a lot of time on her feet. The largest hike being nearly 4 miles with just under 3,000 of elevation gain (Island Lake). After hiking up, she slept on my back majority of the way down. Although she is clearly tough, the idea of taking a 4-year-old on an all day hike (oh yeah and 4 other children) alone is somewhat frightening. Apparently I like watching my life flash before my eyes…

When +1 said he had work to do in Flagstaff I said “great we will join you! I want to take the kids up Humphreys myself”. I’m pretty sure to anyone that just sounds stupid. 5 kids, age 11-3, almost 5 miles  and over 3,000 feet of climbing, sound like a good time?

They were all thrilled to be woken up early.

They were all thrilled to be woken up early.

Getting ready for an all day trek with everyone is stressful in itself. We rolled up the the parking lot and they all ran off to play. I did my best to round them up for sunscreen and to throw some packs on the big ones. Tenny was stoked to hike and took off in a sprint, which resulted in a potty break before we could even hit the trees “I have to pee now Mommy!” She almost got off the trail…

And we are off!

And we are off!

 

The first half hour she ran, a lot. Girl was excited to be on her own two feet. By an hour in it was snack time, eat and hike peeps we gotta keep moving.

Just keep moving.

Just keep moving… in American Apparel leggings of course.

*Note- I do not have a lot of pictures. My phone is super ghetto and the battery does not last long anymore. Even on airplane mode trying to save the battery for as long as possibly, I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to get a picture at the top if I wasn’t careful. Sorry…

So we snacked every half an hour or so and they kept moving. They love to play together while hiking and their was some sort of Pokemon/horse game going on. I was happy they didn’t need me at this point as Tru was in the worst mood ever! My Little hiking buddy needed a nap and was not having it for some reason.. ugh… there may have been threats of bear attacks if he continued to scream which did cause them to subside enough for him to fall asleep for a while. Pokemon/horse continued on.

I missed a turn. I know I suck. So we scrambled up. Teagan continued to question me and all I responded was “up”. We trudged on with Tajh behind Tenny to keep her from sliding down. Eventually we found the trail, hit the saddle, and into the rocks larger then Tenny.

Up!

Up!

“Tajh just push her butt up” I commanded after watching him try and have her step on his hand, which took forever. “This is awkward…” because he is 11 and everything is awkward.  At no point have we rested at all, I knew we didn’t have time in the day for that. We did though move off the trail if anyone was coming toward us. One of these times Tenny took the opportunity to lay down on a large rock “I just want to go to bed Mommy”, “Yes hunny, me too, lets go”.

So sleepy...

So sleepy…

She picked a nice view.

She picked a nice view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On we went. If was windy and cold up top and holding hands was necessary to help the Little Lady up the steps larger then she. No one was complaining, other then about being cold. I sent the Bigs ahead as soon as we saw the summit, and not gonna lie, I got pretty darn excited hiking up with Tenny.

Up go the Big's

Up go the Bigs

 

5 hours and 5 minutes after starting Tenny summited Humphreys Peak.

My Littles.

My Littles.

Second nap of the day for this guy.

Second nap of the day for this guy.

Snacks

Snacks

 

Rest

Rest

 

Snacks

Snacks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We sat and she ate her peanut butter cup (yup just one). The Big’s and I discussed letting her take a nap, but at this point it was pretty late. After a 30 minute rest we started down the mountain again. They discussed how heading straight down the scree would be much fast “see mommy then we just head through the trees to the car”. Sigh… That’s a no.

Having left without our sandwiches we had only snacks all day, everyone was starving. We daydreamed about pizza, all of us, and hiked. The horse game came back (no pokemon this time) and Tenny fell, “That was (insert horses name)’s fault. I’m ok”.  Although none of them ever had imaginary friends, they really commit when playing in the mountains.

We finished with only pizza on our minds, 4 1/2 hours after leaving the summit (down is hard when you are super short). Tenny was asleep within 2 minutes of driving but woke in time to eat. They probably all passed right out at bedtime you assume? Of course not!  They would not go to sleep! Does anything exhaust my Littles? I’ve yet to find it! When asked what he favorite part of the day was Tenny responded “seeing the top”, yup, that’s my girl. All my Littles continue to amazing me. I’m one proud Momma.

All 5 kids took in 3,850 calories over the nearly 10 hour day.

 

 

Categories: Adventures with Littles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Island Lake? Psh my 4-year-old can do that.

Did someone say epic? Oh yeah, that’s how we roll. A journey with 5 kids into the unknown? Yes please. Even better, let someone tell me there is “lots of snow up there” and apparently I decide it’s an even better idea. With +1 at the lead I strapped Tru on my back and headed to Island Lake.

Now we have done part of this journey before. Last year we drove to the parking lot at the end of South Mineral campground and headed up Ice Lake trail. To head to Island Lake you take a turn at some point, that’s all I knew. Last year I was in shape, this year I haven’t done anything in a nearly a month, I knew this was going to hurt, at least a little.

Now let’s remember, little Tenny is 4. I had NO clue how long this hike was going to be, but I knew from the start she was going to make it on her own 2 feet.

Off we go!

Off we go!

The first hour was a nice hike. Upness was there, but everyone was moving pretty well with Tenny moving at “4-year-old who randomly gets boosts of energy to catch her siblings” pace. River crossings were met with helping hands from siblings, and Tru took his first nap of the day. I’m pretty sure this kid only likes hiking for the naps!

First river crossing. They got larger!

First river crossing. They got larger!

See, larger.

See, larger.

I get by with a little help from my siblings.

I get by with a little help from my siblings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I figured snack after an hour and then maybe another within the next half hour, they had other plans. These kids were hungry! So they ate and hiked and Little Miss Tenny got a second wind, even if it only lasted a little while.

Snack break turned into birdwatching time.

Snack break turned into birdwatching time.

Upness

Upness

"Mommy van!" -Tru

“Mommy van!” -Tru

Now about snow, I don’t like it. I am not a fan of being cold. So we hit some snow fields, and some more, and some sketchier ones. I spent a lot of time asking the kids to watch their feet and asking (re-asking) +1 if it was safe.

More snow.

More snow.

Snow

Snow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still snow.

Still snow, and Tenny!

Tenny does not like having cold and which did lead to some freak outs EVERY time she fell…which was a lot. Luckily +1 did help her through some of the extra crazy spots. And then we saw it:

 

photo-12

The amazing blue of the water could been seen through the ice layer, which the kids promptly began throwing rocks at. What kid doesn’t want to watch ice break? We had lunch, threw more rocks, and laid our shoes and socks out to dry. And then got attacked by marmots-

 

I can confidently say the best playground for children is a giant frozen lake over 12,000 feet in the sky. The only way to live.

 

Ice Breaking.

Ice Breaking.

More Ice Breaking.

More Ice Breaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rock throwing,

Rock throwing,

Time to leave.

The snow fields on the way drown were beyond sketchy. Sadly my phone died (then came back to life further down the mountain) so I wasn’t able to get any of the epic shots on +1 skiing on his feet down crazy snow fields at 12,000 feet or my Littles getting cold butts as they sledding (sans sled) down. We will have to head back and make it happen.

Drinking from waterfalls "best water ever!"

Drinking from waterfalls “best water ever!”

"Mommy next time lets bring no water and just fill in the waterfalls" Good plan kids... good plan.

“Mommy next time lets bring no water and just fill in the waterfalls” Good plan kids… good plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tenny napped on my back (girl deserved the break!) , Tru on +1’s (so thankful to have another adult for this trek) and we all made is safely back down. In case you are keeping track, My 4-YEAR-OLD hiked for 3 1/2 hours over 4 miles up with nearly 3,000 elevation gain. Yup, she is bad ass. All in all it was nearly an 8 hour day and so worth it! If only for the marmot eating Tay’s pee off the ground story…

 

Dirty shoes picture requested by Tay.

Dirty shoes picture requested by Tay.

and some others.

and some others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And let me say, my Little people who have been fighting and struggling to be friends the last few months were AMAZING the entire 8 hours. Helpful to one another and kinder then I could ever ask for. Thank you nature!

Oh yes, and my adorable pollen nose little buddy. Best hiking friend ever! Anytime I fall and give a "shit" under my breath I'm met with "ok mommy?". Love him!

Oh yes, and my adorable pollen nose little buddy. Best hiking friend ever! Anytime I fall and give a “shit” under my breath I’m met with “ok mommy?”. Love him!

Categories: Adventures with Littles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Silverton!

It’s Silverton time baby! Headed up a little late Friday with all the Little People. Van pack full of food, breakfast in their snack bins, and no real plan in mind. Decided to keep it simple this trip and not think too much, if you know me, that’s a clear lie.

I will say my planning sucked for this trip. Nearly everything I have for the kids I have bought myself in the last 6 months. I like matching shirts (so I can find them easier if they are lost), comfy clothes, basically whatever it takes to keep things as simple as possible. Yet, I found myself with nothing, and a whole lot of shopping to do. With drama always on my door step, getting out of town took longer then I wanted.

So we drove, FINALLY, the 6 of us. We stopped when we wanted, snacked when we wanted. Other then a little more whinning then I would have like, it went well! And then they saw Silverton:

 

Obviously they are a little odd… but I kinda like how Tay calls marrying the same gender “flavor”. He is well on his way to a comedy career.. or incarceration… a Mother can never be too sure!

 

They talked about how much they love small towns and they ran around on the playground and all came back out of breathe! Oh, a Hardrock loving Mothers dream. They were all so happy to be “home”.

We headed off in the mountains to sleep. It was too late for me to care to put up a tent, van it was. Tru laid on me for a while and was nice enough to inform me “no poop Mommy, no poop”. Thanks Buddy, glad you don’t plan on pooping on me tonight. Everyone found their “spot” and sleep came. The morning was my favorite:

 

On to the fun adventures! I have some exciting plans for my out-of-shape little ultra runners! Stay tuned!

Categories: Our Homeless Summer | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sorry, Momma don’t pay.

I do not believe in allowance, I never have. When I was growing up we didn’t have much money. My mom worked hard to be sure we had the things we wanted. Did I get every new toy I wanted? Hell no. Did I get the newest fancy clothes? Nope. But when it came to things that were good for me (activities, classes), I had them. My family owned a business and I began working from a young age. at 15 I had 2 jobs over the summer, one being full time. I was always working hard because no one was ever going to hand me anything.

My kids have always grown up being a part of the household. If I ask you to sweep, pick up someone elses’ mess, wash the dishes, anything, you do it. I have always been met with a “yes mommy” because we are a family. You eat here, have a roof over your head, toys, clothes, everything you need, so you participate. I do the majority of the work, but you must be willing to help when I need it.

Divorce sucks. When you have been the “on call” parent your children’s entire life, you have done a lot of research and come up with a pretty concise parenting plan. And then the game changes on you…. All of the sudden kids are given an allowance, not taught to save and instead buy toys that would to totally be off-limits with your parenting, and food choices seem like Halloween at all times…. ugh…

Learning to parent through this is far from easy.  I refuse to change my values, the values they are grown up with, but of course they wish I would. They are little, you can not expect them to understand “because its good for you”. So alas my helpers are harder to deal with. There is always push back, asking to be paid, expecting things that were normally held as “treats”.  Does this anger me? absolutely. I wish they could hold on to the values I have instilled in them. But, that’s not the case. Now I must learn to hold my emotions. I must learn everything will take a little longer. Nothing will be as simple as it once was.

I suppose just another episode in the saga “Divorced Parenting”

 

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

BababaBabywearing!!

I love baby wearing. Even before I knew what is what, before I gave birth to Tajh, a stroller seemed crazy to me. Why push my little person in a giant wheeled contraption when I am perfectly capable of holding them?  I really didn’t like extra “stuff” of any kind… (shhhh I did use a stroller a little… live and learn)

So I bought a ghetto front pack and made it work. Was it perfect? Hell no. It did allow me to have Tajh close and get shit done. Win.

With Tea I gained a wonderful Mommy friend that helped pull me into the endless beautiful options baby wearing has to offer. I mean, I had a pouch, but that wasn’t even scratching the surface. So I became obsessed (shocker, I’m an extremist!). I research and bought 2 of everything, almost. I loved my endless world of possibilities. I even loved kicking it with super militant breastfeeding/babywearing extremists at time! (It was pretty entertaining)

Recently I was talking to my favorite (and possibly only, unimportant, still favorite) French Canadian friend about life and something like it. We spoke about the Copper Canyons (Ultrarunning peeps, Mas Locos, Copper Canyon Ultra Marathon Caballo Blanco stuff. Born To Run? If you don’t get it, no worries, doesn’t change the story). I told him how in love with traditional carriers I was and how a Rebozo is one of the carriers I have never had, sad face. He told me he had one and would give it to me, YAY! In the wee hours of the morning as he was about to start a 50k (ultra runner talk), he saw me and yelled “i have something for you!”, ran back to El Capitan (his vehicle/home) and pulled out the most beautiful piece of fabric I have ever seen. Seriously, I am one HAPPY Lady. Thank you again Frenchy!

Here I sat tonight wondering what to do with myself, well, carrier photo shoot of course! So here are a few of my favorite (or not so favorite) baby tying devices. (I don’t have that old front pack to share, thank goodness)

The Pouch. A Hotsling pouch circa 2005. Vintage.

The Pouch. A Hotsling pouch circa 2005. Vintage.

Her Baby needed a photo op.

Her Baby needed a photo-op.

 

Hotsling ring sling from back in the day. zipper pocket and is perfect for in the water. It's a winner!

Hotsling ring sling from back in the day. zipper pocket AND it’s perfect for in the water?! It’s a winner!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Disclaimer- Photos were taken by people under 5 feet tall… Quality is a little lacking I know…

Didymos wrap. A huge favorite! With a photo bomb.

Didymos wrap. A huge favorite! With a photo bomb.

Great for dancing.

Great for dancing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s where I will tell another little story. So I have a friend from Sierra Leone, of course I asked her about the traditional baby wearing. She was happy to share with me, I just needed to bring a towel to practice. Yup, that simple, a rectangle of fabric. Being as wonderful as she is, she brought me some fabric her husband had brought back from Ghana, much prettier than a towel 🙂

We really like this no hands thing...

We really like this no hands thing…

 

Things got weird….

 

Awkward.... Though I do love me some Mei Tai!

Awkward…. Though I do love me some Mei Tai!

And finally, My beautiful present!

"Back Mommy Back!" of course I can!

“Back Mommy Back!” of course I can!

 

 

So perfect. I still have some work to do on perfecting the knot.

So awesome! I still have some work to do on perfecting the knot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I seriously LOVE babywearing! I may get a little crazy with it at times….

Crying with a sleeping baby in a mei tai on your back at 13,000 feet? Oh yeah, I've done that.

Crying with a sleeping baby in a mei tai on your back at 13,000 feet? Oh yeah, I’ve done that.

Creek hoping with one on the front and one on the back? Done that too.

Creek hoping with one on the front and one on the back? Done that too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, maybe I’ll share some better pictures sometime, maybe not. I think you get the idea.

Big news on the “Babywearing I’m a crazy Lady who likes to do epic shit front, stay tuned!”

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why Ladies need Mommy friends.

As a mom you spend a lot of time talking to little people who can’t talk back to you. You talk to yourself everywhere you go. Social interaction with other adults becomes awkward almost.  You can go to baby classes, mommy and me class and make friends, but all those “before kids” friends have a hard time understanding why you don’t text back. Why you cancel plans at the last-minute. Why all around it seems like you are distracted and no longer  cool.

I struggled to make mommy friends. As a young mom doing things differently (attachment parenting, babywearing, cloth diapering) I was confusing to other mothers. It’s that “well she must be judging me for my choices” mentality.  I made a really amazing friend (we met on babycenter which neither of us are willing to admit) when Tea and her daughter were 6 months. I met another wonderful mom friend when Tajh was in preschool. I met another beautiful friend when Tajh was in first grade (despite the fact that she refused to tell me what her husband did for a really long time. Apparently she thought I wouldnt be ok with a youth pastors with! I still love her!).  My Lala, my bestie, I met when Tea was in kindergarten with her son.  Otherwise is was hit and miss…

When Tajh was in kindergarten a crazy mom (legit she was crazy) organized a park day. Despite the fact that she was crazy and I can be completely awkward in social situations I went. The park days continued and turned into a core group of ladies (crazy lady left). Our children went lord of the flies (every boy with his shirt off, and one little lady who is pretty awesome ditched her top too). After school each Tuesday our kids ran, played, did whatever they wanted, while us ladies talked. We shared our lives, it was my world. I looked forward to those Tuesday’s at the park when my life was in chaos. From kindergarten through 3rd grade these ladies were my peeps.

When we moved school this stopped. All our little people where getting older and things were slightly fizzling out as it was. But now it ended…  These moms and I had shared years together, not only with our kids, but also on drunken moms night outs. For a year I missed them…..

When the chaos started in my life again (ie nowhere to live) I knew who I needed to call. I knew who I needed to see and talk to to feel like I had a chance of getting my act together. I called a Tuesday park day, and they showed up! We talked, caught up, and sent our children off to play. How beautiful is that? These ladies were there for me! Time didn’t matter, when I needed them they showed up. I can not even begin to explain how wonderful life is when you find a core group of Mommies to hang out with. People without judgment, that share similar experiences, that love you despite time and space.

Hey my park Moms, Tuesday park day soon?

Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes things are harder then they look….

I don’t know how single moms do it. I never truly thought of how hard it would be to be “on my own”. Yes I have five kids, but I can imagine even with one things aren’t easy. My 6 biggest gripes of being a single Momma (these can totally apply to single Dads too!)-

No one to watch kids while you make a quick run to the store-

That moment when you wake up and realize there is nothing for breakfast so you run to the store super quick before the kids get up? Yeah, single moms don’t have that. There is no “oops I’m out of flour!” moment, you have to plan ahead. I don’t have the option to make a quick store run, if I’m out of something we are all hoping in the car. Luckily I do have a 11-year-old that I trust and send into the store for a couple of items at times. But on the whole, I have to be sure I’m super prepared.

No one to give me a break at the end of the day-

Some days are rough. Some days you just want someone to read to the kids while you clean up after dinner. Some days you just want someone to watch the kids while you go out for a run. There is no “break” until the kids are in bed. Yes I have days that are totally “free”, but what that means is when I am with the kids I’m 100% there. No break, no help, all me. Yes, it is exhausting.

No one to bounce ideas off of-

What should we do today? What should the budget look like? What should we eat for dinner? Look, I’m terrible at making decisions. I like to come up with ideas and run them by someone else. When you are single, there isn’t anyone to take on this job. You can outsource to friends, family, but it’s not the same as having someone else in the home. It is nice to have someone to collaborate with.

No on to back me up (especially when a tween sucks)-

Kid is being highly disrespectful and all you need is another adult to help defuse the situation. Clearly I can handle this on my own, but sometimes it’s nice to have some “back up”.

No one to do the “yucky stuff”-

We were hanging out at Zane Grey watching all the runners and it was cold, snowing cold. We played a bit then they all wanted to get in the van to warm up, perfect, they are contained! I starting hearing that all to familiar “Moooooommy” call… Yay. Come to find Tru has vomited in the van, on himself and Tenny. So now I’m cleaning vomit, alone. Sometimes it nice to have those extra hands to help, or someone who can take over. When you’re a single mom it’s all you, yuck.

No one to sit down with at the end of the day and just talk-

At some point you realize you are actually alone. They are all in bed, and it’s just you. No one to listen to “war stories” from the day: Tru threw a fit, Tenny got paint all over the floor, and I cleaned up poop off the wall (True story). No one to tell all the funny, cute, awesome things the kids did during the day to…  The silence when they kids are in bed is almost haunting.

In the end these are all “doable”.  My Littles are pretty amazing and our little life together is starting to come together. The reality is being a single parent is hard. Having a partner to share the good, bad, and ugly with makes life easier in many ways (and harder in others too!).  Even if your partner sucks, sometimes just having another body in the home can be beneficial. I’m slowly figuring this all out and getting use to taking care of the vomitty situations (I don’t do vomit well…). There are plenty of benefits to being a single Mom as well! I mean, not having to shower until your friends decide to call you out for your stinkyness is pretty sweet….

 

 

 

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